I go to the gym to try and break machines and to be sweaty and naked in all the right places.

I do not have a trainer. I’m not training for anything other than to have the shape of a dolphin and the musk of a wolverine.

However, I was struck the other day what a queer Triathlon I was involved in: 1) Riding an Elliptical Machine until broken. 2) 3 Games of basketball 3) The requisite number of laps in the pool to induce drowning from fatigue.

Though that is not quite queer enough…

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