The NFL Playoffs Are Afoot – Rex Ryan Devouring his Players

by January 17th, 2011 - Culture » Arts » Culture » Sports »

So excited was New York Jets‘ Head Coach Rex Ryan after the teams impressive 28-21 win against the New England Patriots, that he lost all control, ran onto the field, grabbed running back Shonn Greene as if to hug him before spinning him upside down, tearing off his cleats and forcing his entire left foot into his gaping maw, drool and pre-cum, somehow, falling from his mouth to the field below. A moment later and he further contorted the running back’s body, breaking his right leg in the process to angle his other foot into the fly off his pants to finish the job…

When asked about the big win, Coach Ryan exclaimed, “Mppphhh moimph hmmmm mmmmmm…” before fading into unconsciousness…

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