A cure for boredom. Wearing a tank top, gym shorts and nothing underneath, bike cross-town against 20mph winds and 30 degree thunder and lightning and sleet. Oh, my! It seemed like a much better idea when I was in the locker-room.

And the recipient of THE SPORADICAL INSTITUTE’s 2009 Fuck It Peace Prize is… PAUL LYNDE What!? Why?! Because… Well… Fuck it…he just is, alright? SCREW! Get your own goddamn peace prize and you can give it to whoever the hell YOU want… Or are we gonna fight about it?! Huh? Punk!

Eboobullient adj: overflowing with high-spirited, enthusiastic breasts, bubbling up like a boiling liquid. “The young man I interviewed that day surely would have secured the position if it wasn’t for his eboobullient shoulder blades making the feat simply impossible.”

Chardonnaise n: a yellow, easily spreadable paste made from the combination of cheap white wine, vegetable oil, and egg yolks. “At the picnic, we slathered our naked bodies so much with the stuff that, afterward, it left us all in a permanent chardonnaise malaise. “