Steven Moffat and Matt Smith have done a relatively bang up job since taking over Doctor Who last season. There have been hiccups, of course. Moffat followed up the stunningly good The Eleventh Hour with one of the worst episodes ever, The Beast Below. And as this very much miss-and-hit season has sludged into a midseason hiatus, my interest has faded somewhat…

…and been redirected to marathon binges of Top Gear, a perfect formula of automotive nonsense with a bachelor pad trio of essayists led by presenter Jeremy Clarkson, the first Brit I’ve ever heard complain about all the ridiculous nanny-state British subservience that keeps me from having any hunger for a visit.

But as good as Top Gear is, it is a bit like ice cream, the formula causing you mental rot gut if you consume more than a season in a single sitting.

To quell my grumblings with both programs, I propose merging them in some way. Perhaps all we have to do is install ex-Doctor Tom Baker as a new presenter who will review a different TARDIS design each episode.

As great as that may sound, it may soon get tiresome as well when we find that every Ferrari, Lamborghini, and the like all have only slightly different configurations of the chameleon circuit to make the outside of each TARDIS to look like giant penises.