Witty Bit Eruptions

Should any action of mine seem brave or adventurous, trust that it is only taken out of a desperate, desperate boredom of the alternative.

There is no further evidence required to disprove the existence of a benevolent god beyond the fact that the human anus is not sufficiently self-lubricating.

I have only led such a stressed and anxious life thus far, in order to develop a sufficient number of gray and eccentric strands upon my head. The debatable remainder, I shall live completely relaxed and strikingly styled.

I should like to make slow, sober, focused love to all the stronger passions of humanity, tearing through the timid, the tired, the teased and torn, adding sugar to better taste even the bitter bore.