Ratchet’s Dream Diary — May 15, 2008

I unlock the door to my apartment building, exhausted after a long day at work. As I open the door, I find that Bonnie, my upstairs neighbor, is standing at the bottom of the stairs, her young daughter at her side. She is holding a strange bundle. She asks me, “Is this your baby?”

The baby clings to her breast like a monkey and looks like a tiny, emaciated old man with wily eyes and hollow cheeks. The child is mine, but I am loath to admit it. It stares at me with a look of indifferent recognition, its eyes alert and intelligent. I stare back, narrowly, silently.

“I found it in a crib back there,” Bonnie continues, pointing with her thumb to a nook beneath the stairs, “Do you know where it came [...]

When did Dr. Samuel Beckett NOT have tits?

I am in one of those rare moods. It is a dumb, dumb rage that destroys one’s tolerance for the perception of every single molecule of one’s current existence. In this particular instance, it is caused by not having cone wrenches to fix a bike wheel. And the immediate object of my intolerance is the classic television series, Quantum Leap. I love that show – like crazy – but, with my emotions as they are, I have lost all ability to suspend my disbelief, no longer ignoring plot contrivances or gleefully enduring campy comedy.

For those who care and don’t already know, here is the plot of the show as summarized as it almost always was in the opening narration:

“Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr. Sam Beckett stepped into [...]

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