I like to believe sometimes…that god DOES exists. And WAS all-powerful. And DID have a plan.

But then, one night, when stumbling in the dark to the bathroom to take a piss, he/she slipped and slammed his/her head off the side of the toilet. He/she lost not only the control of his/her powers, but also the control of his/her bowels and the ability to keep drool in his/her mouth. So he/she sits on a shit-stained, drool-encrusted throne for eternity, his/her powers spilling and causing havoc on mankind as angels stand by shrugging and sighing…and cleaning up.

Also, perhaps god is a hermaphrodite…which would not only be obviously awesome, but also help clear-up the whole gender grammar problem.

Or…you know…probably not…