In debate over hotly contested legislation in the last few years, politicians have more and more spewed forth noble, heartwarming, selfless pleas to the effect of: “Now is not the time for ideology. Government must do what works and abandon what does not work.” In my attempts to imagine a government actually taking actions without […]

Your fucking cookies are incredible. This is far beyond the stupid guilt-ridden charity bullshit of a co-worker trapping you in some queer “no obligation” emotional obligation to buy some pretzel twists or soggy hoagies for some distantly related relative’s basketball team or some other sole spark of a child’d life that happens to be underfunded. […]

The record pauses and skips and emits a note it was never meant to play, forcing us into that fleeting groove, closed over, a neutered consciousness waiting for another odd, crackled gasp that may never come.

Schweinsteiger n: an archaic title of Germanic origins given to the the member of a small village, town, or community whose job it was to fuck the pigs. Although not as well known as Shoemaker or other such occupational names, Schweinsteiger similarly became an expedient last name for many pig fucking immigrants arriving in their […]