Writing

I am learned… In The Sporadical’s continuing crusade to uncover overlooked, underground cultural idiosyncrasies that will aid us in transitioning to The Second Surreal and Unnerving Human Empire, we bring you…cows crapping in a field for money! Cow Chip Bingo! Traditionally, Cow Chip Bingo is begun by a township painting a grid onto a field, […]

Ratchet’s Dream Diary — May 15, 2008 I unlock the door to my apartment building, exhausted after a long day at work. As I open the door, I find that Bonnie, my upstairs neighbor, is standing at the bottom of the stairs, her young daughter at her side. She is holding a strange bundle. She […]

Ratchet’s Dream Diary – April 14, 2008 I feel anxious. My boyfriend works for a reputed mobster who looks like Al Pacino. This Pacino character runs a chain of convenience stores. The business is legitimate in every way except that when business is slow, Pacino gets a bunch of his employees together and they put […]

I’ve stopped drinking again… …but I’m still talking to the IRS and it’s just as enjoyable as it had traditionally been after a bottle Jäger at 8am. This is a serious statement, outside of the convoluted, phantom alcoholism. The IRS hotline folks are my friends…my only friends? Perhaps, but certainly my best, most loyal, and […]