For the purposes of this post – and my ego – I am Prometheus.

And I have put myself at great peril, to steal for you – FROM ZEUS HIMSELF! – the gift of COMMENTS! Never before encountered anywhere throughout the wide expanse of the world of web, these “comments” will allow all mortals visiting The Sporadical the freedom to let their opinions known, instigate and extend discussions, make weirder the already strange, point out grammatical errors, play the game Who Has the Biggest Conceptual Penis?, naively and emotionally defend commonly held beliefs under the hypnotic power of a largely self-imposed peer pressure, warm themselves at night and better prepare food that isn’t Tastykakes.

You know nothing of these things now, but surely from this great addition to humanity will evolve complex systems of science, philosophy, politics, and art [...]