For the purposes of this post – and my ego – I am Prometheus.

And I have put myself at great peril, to steal for you – FROM ZEUS HIMSELF! – the gift of COMMENTS! Never before encountered anywhere throughout the wide expanse of the world of web, these “comments” will allow all mortals visiting The Sporadical the freedom to let their opinions known, instigate and extend discussions, make weirder the already strange, point out grammatical errors, play the game Who Has the Biggest Conceptual Penis?, naively and emotionally defend commonly held beliefs under the hypnotic power of a largely self-imposed peer pressure, warm themselves at night and better prepare food that isn’t Tastykakes.

You know nothing of these things now, but surely from this great addition to humanity will evolve complex systems of science, philosophy, politics, and art [...]

That might just be the thing, right? Come one and all! Gather round and stare in amazement as a swaddled babe stumbles its first dumb steps from the blinding light of the internets…slowly stretching out a tiny little finger…POKE!

That is quite a cute image, actually…and you’re likely to be filled with a great warmth as fuzzy, almost inaudible giggles come gently from your deepest center.

Steadily, however, those giggles progress to more of a frothing, internally sloughing process and you realize that they are indeed fuzzy. That’s no surreal metaphor, dummy! There are fuzzy things coming out of your mouth…and they hurt more than fuzzy things should. Soon, that ‘great warmth’ has gotten a bit greater and you’re racked with a fever equal parts alarming and remarkable…which almost takes your mind off of the fuzzy, hurtful things [...]