I was at a rather politically charged event recently, whereat the moderater was trying to keep a tight leash on the Q&A session. One particular member of the audience stood up, took the mic and gave no indication of asking a question, instead going on a very practiced, apparently emotional plea, paraphrased, “I want everyone to live the way I [...]

Are your underwear too tight?

• Yes
• No
• FUCKINGEYEGOUGINGDOOMCOCK! ARRRRGGHHHHH!

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We here at The Sporadical do not really care to study this particular statistic. It is but our great benevolence that causes us to raise this question so that it may stir in you an inspection into whether or not you are properly stirring.

Understandably, when you were younger you may have been 135lbs and convinced that that surely [...]