I recently visited relatives in the lovely little state of Maryland. While there, we conducted a reconnaissance mission at the National Aquarium in Baltimore, studying the tactics of the indisputably evil and nigh unstoppable menace that we call Jellyfish. Turns out…the gelatinous critters just float around in glass cylinders. Perhaps my fears were overblown. Surely, […]

Doesn’t look like anyone is using this flag much anymore. I’ve updated it to reflect our post-post-modern times…

In response to the recent panic surrounding the H1N1 virus, as well as for basic hygiene, my workplace recently installed motion activated hand sanitizer dispensers throughout its establishment. I had encountered something similar once before in a public restroom dispenser that squirted soap on your hands when simply placed before its electronic eye. There was […]

Stunt Cock n: a waxen inorganic copy of your body into which your consciousness may be placed in order to more recklessly experience the violence of life without fear of breaking the good china. “Like a penis on the wart of life, I employed my self within a stunt cock to fearlessly order delivery.”