I have just begun a new workout, while listening to faux old-style androgynous side-splaying music, I take a 10-pound weight in each hand and alternate pushing the weight straight out in front of me turning it counter-clockwise and pulling it back in close to my chest.

I’m sure this has been packaged and completed countless times by fitness programs, but in addition to my soundtrack, the key difference is that in my mind I am entering the key and igniting a robot lion of the elite fighting force Voltron.

Not only am I tightening my taut…but when the day comes that I find a Voltron lion hidden deep in the desert…man…am I gonna TURN THAT FUCKER ON!