Chardonnaise n: a yellow, easily spreadable paste made from the combination of cheap white wine, vegetable oil, and egg yolks. “At the picnic, we slathered our naked bodies so much with the stuff that, afterward, it left us all in a permanent chardonnaise malaise. “

The tale once began like this: I am alone in the middle of the Savage Land…a hidden pocket of untamed life…with only semi-mystical leather pants long ago lost —now found — and a large bowie knife for protection and sport. This is not a hunting expedition. I will not attack, but I will taunt any […]